Want happiness…get some self lovin’ and respect – Part 2.

Hi everyone…are you ready for Part 2? Are you ready to begin liking yourself that little bit more?

There are two things I know with absolute assuredness about loving yourself and treating yourself well.

Firstly, if you like and respect yourself you will act in ways that require others to like and respect you.

When you require others to treat you a certain way, you are sending them a message about what you think about yourself. When they respond with good behaviour towards you, this increases your inner sense that you are worth something. You are a good person because look how well people treat you.

Secondly, if you don’t like and respect yourself you will act in ways that allow others to treat you with that same dislike and disrespect.

If you allow others to treat you with disrespect, you are sending them and you the message that you don’t think that much of yourself. They can treat you badly because that is all you think you are worth. Because, do you see that if you thought you were worth more, you wouldn’t let them treat you so unkindly.

Both these patterns will reinforce our original ideas of ourselves.

So if you like yourself, you wouldn’t allow someone to swear at you, call you names, bully you, demean you or treat you disrespectfully. You would remove yourself from this person or situation or you would defend or stand up for yourself by stating that their behaviour is unacceptable to you and it needs to change if they want you to stick around.

An example from my life.

In my first full time job at 19 years of age, my boss was a very volatile man who could switch from charming and fun to demeaning and screaming with ease and lightning speed. I worked for this man for 18 months. He intimidated and scared me, but I wanted the job, so I hung in there and put up with it.

One day though he crossed a line. He got angry and called me a “f***ing idiot”. When he said that something inside me clicked, something switched. For months I had put up with being spoken to badly, gone to work with knots in my stomach everyday, but this, this was not on. This was not going to happen. I would not be spoken to like that.

I remember standing up, eyeballing him and saying in a firm, fierce tone, “I will not be called a f***ing idiot”. It was the first time I had stood up to him, I was shaking like a leaf. He started screaming at me again and the whole time I didn’t speak, I just looked at him, my stare unwavering and when he finished I said again in that firm, fierce tone,  ”Yeah, ok, but I will not be called a f***ing idiot”.

I will always remember what happened next.  His face collapsed, his shoulders slumped, the aggression fell right out of him and he said, “You’re right, I’m sorry”.

When I think back on this episode, I think of that switch, that click I felt inside as my self respect kicked in. Really, in that split second, my self esteem and self respect grew up.

So ask yourself;

How do others treat me?

How do I feel I should be treated?

Do I require the people in my life to treat me with respect or do they treat me with disrespect?

If I want more happiness and content in my relationships do I need to change anything?

Think about it and don’t be scared of the answers.

They are the key to your blithe journey.

PS. Missed Part 1, click here.

PPS. What’s the rose picture got to do with self love? Absolutely nothing, I just thought it was really pretty and it made me feel happy!!